"The Perfect Job"
We received the following from a formerly incarcerated man regarding the ITC program he completed while incarcerated at Jefferson City Correctional Center. The program is slowly being cut down by the department of corrections, yet this program has helped so many men. These men reached out to us because they wanted everyone to know how much it's helped them and how concerned they are that the program is being cut down. They're concerned that they will lose the ITC program. We've made posts regarding this program in the past (https://www.moprisonreform.org/2021/04/a-letter-from-itc-program-at-jccc.html). Here's the message we received from a formerly incarcerated man who completed the program.
"THE PERFECT JOB
I remember after a year of incarceration thinking about my last couple jobs. I had worked up the ladder and achieved a very good Industrial Painter position. I had begun at the bottom of Titan Wheel with a lot of manpower hours. Basically I was being paid half of what a hired employee was making. Then I applied for the same painters position at a company near home, and got it. It elevated me and I found I really liked it alot. But I messed it all up due to my habits, and criminal lifestyle. I remember praying and dealing with several grief issues because I had lost a great deal.
When I entered the ITC program in Jefferson City, the healing began in every area of my life. At the moment you don't see the big picture, because it's overwhelming. The classes are long, and back to back. Every moment of your day appears to be cramming information into your small brain. But the spirit of it is healing as you go. It's designed to be overwhelming, because then maybe when you can’t control the outcome. Someone else for a moment can do the thinking for us. At least long enough to stop the destructive cycle, and begin the recovery journey. For me I had some really deep issues and habits that needed therapy. I went around and around in circles for several years in the ITC program. Until finally one day it was enough. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired of the consequences. And my rock bottom broke free then. The real created man of god that I wanted to be was resurrected, and reborn in recovery.
Everything in the program made sense, I didn't want to fight the change, and keep my bag of defects. I wanted to talk about them. I wanted to A.A. them, to the whole world. And if you know me, I am a talker. Working the program is still resonating inside my spiritman. I'm still growing from the information of the ITC program. Everything has come to life. People speak and I listen because there is going to be something I can see that reminds me to learn from their mistakes, and mine. I do not want to be that man that does not learn at all, again. I was him, the can't get right person. I was dedicated to the destructive cycle of (KIDD), old Earl. The facilitators all began to pull stuff outta me, each one another defect. Counselors joined in too. I was broken down, and everyone was like the great carpenter Jesus Christ in my life. Now that I was not attacking people back, people began confronting me on a daily basis. It was the only medicine I truly needed. Men confronting me and today everything confronts me. And it's healthy.
Returning home I worked hard doing recovery. I have now landed the Industrial Painter job that I had lost. Things are being restored to me. But it is 100% different. I give a proper response daily, in the morning beginning with my higher power. When a boss says,” Hey Earl, do that”, I say yes sir. Learning the proper response saves me many times throughout the day. How I respond to all the confrontations has set me apart from the people being fired around me. When someone is standing there debating their behavior with the supervisor. I am reminded of those 10 simple words. I can see the expression on the supervisors faces. Like this is a line of bullshit. My work performance is good. I have perfect attendance, and can be called on to do overtime as needed for the company. The upper phases allowed me the time to make a better decision on my own without someone having to do the thinking for me. I remind myself, your best thinking as a substance abuser/criminal, was the big house. Now today 14yrs.into treatment, my many phase brothers all keep that left eye on me in the free world. They probe me whenever they want with phone calls, and emails. If I try to (Earl it), as one of my brothers reminds me. Then I need to work towards the goals of the program. And catch myself even after I've had an error in thinking. To repeat to myself when the temptations come, Stop, breathe, cool out, and think about what you can lose. Because as we all know, we may not have another recovery in us. If you have the opportunity to attend ITC you will not regret it. Quitting cannot be an option.
Brother Earl 2021"